Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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