We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
