I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
