Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize