Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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