I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
