Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize