member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
