Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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