We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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