hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
