its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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