Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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