One girl and one boy is just not enough.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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