He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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