I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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