But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
