Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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