my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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