dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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