he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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