It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
