looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
