I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
