apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
