I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
