do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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