Your tits are I can't wait for
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
