ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
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