what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
