I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
