The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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