what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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