I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
