So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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