I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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