yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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