im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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