watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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