she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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