This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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