Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
