dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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