If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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