kristin has been a bad kristin
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
