So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
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