When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
