I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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