Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
