If i come over, it means nothing
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
