I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
