Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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