3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize