this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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