peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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