"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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