I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
