whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
