I'm lost and stupid without you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
